oui oui
I can’t quite remember how many francs/euros it cost to pee in the bathroom of a restaurant near Paris’ Notre Dame 3 years ago, but I do remember not having exact francs/euros and having to borrow from my friend. Pay to pee? We surely were not in Kansas anymore.
I’ve visited NYC enough times to compile a list of places where one full-bladdered tourist can relieve herself as Starbucks and other dining establishments around the city frown upon non-paying customers using their facilities. (And if you are buying coffee in exchange for bathroom privileges, you are most certainly defeating the purpose, now aren’t you?)
In no particular order:
1) Grand Central Terminal (downstairs)
2) The New York Public Library (third floor)
3) FAO Schwartz (second floor)
4) Tiffany and Company (fourth floor)
5) Hotel lobbies usually have restrooms (I know for certain that Hotel St. James has one)
6) Any major department stores (but you might spring a leak finding them since they are not easy to locate-I’m talking to you, Macy’s)
7) The High Line (public restrooms)
8) Central Park (public restrooms)
9) Other public restrooms around the city
10) The Hudson River
grey forecast for the weekend
I’ve got Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed on tap for this extended weekend in the hopes of having a memorable Memorial Day.
Enjoy yourselves this weekend!
~BA
7 strangers picked to live in a house…
The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is like the Real World: the golden years with 7 British retirees taking up residence at a something to be desired Indian hotel. Who will hook up with whom? Who will hate the other for no good reason? Who will get drunk and make innapropriate life choices?
grey’s anatomy
A trashy romance novel virgin, I’ve never broken the binding of one so I have nothing to compare it to, but Fifty Shades of Grey is one that I won’t soon forget. Despite it being poorly written, I couldn’t put it down and will most likely read the next two in the trilogy, Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed. After all, Fifty Shades of Grey is the gateway book…
The book is so wildly popular because everyone is talking about it and everyone has to know what all the hype (and controversy) is about. E.L.James rides on the coat tails of the Twilight series with her erotic fan fiction, inserting the sex that (Mormom) author Stephanie Meyer left out of her books. Not having gotten past page 50 of Twilight, I can’t make any comparisons. But it’s a story as old as time. Boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love but their love is tested. Whether that test be that the boy is a vampire and the girl human, or the boy is a billionaire into S&M and the girl is an eye-rolling, lip-biting virgin.
You have to suspend disbelief when you read this. The idea that a 21 year college student, Anatasia Rose Steele, could be so sexually inexperienced (so much so that she has never before explored her own sexuality) and her first sexual partner just so happens to be a gorgeous 27 year old billionaire by the name of Christian Grey who is well-endowed in more ways than one is just so far-fetched. It’s not like Anastasia hasn’t been presented with opportunities from the opposite sex. Both Jose and Paul have made advances at her. I feel embarrassed for her naivete and lack of experience. She refers to her vagina as her “sex” or “there”. Despite Grey’s anatomy being huge, she in an innate expert at oral sex and has been gifted with no gag reflex. Gimme a break!
Christian Grey is so much more interesting because he is more seasoned in the sexual arena. I would have liked the book more if he was the protagonist and we weren’t left with an uninteresting college girl to lead us down the dark path of S&M. He is resistant to share with Anastasia his sexual history and the relationship he had with an older woman, “Mrs.Robinson”, when he was younger who obviously used him as a play thing in the same way that he’s using Anastasia as a play thing.
Not only is the relationship between Anastasia and Christian so unbelievable, it’s Anastasia’s lifestyle. Though she doesn’t come from money, she has grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle that comes with having a rich roommate, Kate. “We live in a small community of duplex apartments close to the Vancouver campus of WSU. I’m lucky- Kate’s parents bought the place for her and I pay peanuts for rent. It’s been home for four years now”. She spends 4 years with her roommate Kate before moving with her into a downtown Seattle condo. Why would Anastasia move out on her own when she has it so good? Similiarly, why would she leave Christian when he lavishes her with clothes, books, a car even though there is no love in their relationship? (Personally, I would stay with my stalker boyfriend who uses sex as a weapon if I got a new car out of the deal.)
I can see why some many public libraries have banned the trilogy. Page 165-175 details the contract. (Where would nipple clamps and butt plugs be filed in the Dewey decimal system?) I’m quite surprised I didn’t have to enter a room behind a black curtain to check it out from my own public library. There are currently 800 library card holders in line to check it out.
If it’s not banned for its content, it should be banned for the fact that it’s horribly written. British author E.L. James lets her roots show through her 21 year old American protagonist that it’s so distracting. No college students have this sort of dialogue:
“If this guy is over thirty, then I’m a monkey’s uncle.” No one talks like this.
“As we browse the raw meat cabinet” Raw meat cabinet? I’ve never been to the raw meat cabinet at any grocery store. The meat counter yes, the meat cabinet no.
” ‘I’ve never left mainland USA’”. No one talks like this.
It’s not only the diction that I have a problem with, it’s the discrepancies in the details. For instance, Christian removes his jacket on page 95 . Christian removes his jacket on page 111. No where between 96 and 110 does he put on his jacket!
And
” ‘Pancakes, bacon and eggs?’”
” ‘Sounds great’.”
“I try a forkful of omelet but can barely taste it.”
WTF, how did we go from page 128′s menu being pancakes, bacon and eggs to page 129′s omelet? Maybe it’s the consequence of writing a book on a Blackberry, but how did Random House miss this when they agreed to publish James’ ebook?
Granted, no one reads this salacious book for its story line, much like how no one watches porn for its story line. You have to muddle through the first 112 pages to get to the sex. And after the first few sex scenes, it becomes boring and tired and the shock of the first spanking soon fades. It’s obvious why this book is so popular among moms and is lovingly referred to as “mommy porn”. Instead of actually having kinky sex, moms are reading about it, living vicariously through Anastasia.
In conclusion, E.L.James is a Brit and it shows. Anastasia is a moocher. Christian Grey is well hung. Stephanie Meyer should get a cut of the $5 million that James recently got for the movie rights.
life is a drag
I saw William Shatner last month and last year I saw Mamma Mia. I spend a lot of time at the Blumenthal Performing Arts Center. So how happy was I to stumble upon a group of young professionals who also enjoy occupying a plush seat at uptown’s theatre. Club Blume is a gathering of young professionals who get together once a month to eat free food catered by Aria, toast with free drinks and receive discounted tickets for upcoming shows like La Cage aux Folles. Last month’s event was held at the McGlohon Theatre and involved an appearance by resident drag queen Roxy C. Moorecox who entertained one and all with an Eltong John song.
And as if that wasn’t enough drag for you, here’s a video of my beloved Harry Connick, Jr. in drag:
What to do with a pink feather boa from a drag queen? Embarrass your (male) dog of course!
What should Ray’s drag name be?
Happy Mother’s Day!
With no kids to call my own, I’m spending today reading the mommy porn that is Fifty Shades of Grey.
